Saturday, July 7th: The Roller Coaster

He takes eating very seriously.... sometimes ;)

The last couple of days have been a bit of a roller coaster. He went from "nippling like a turd" (quoted by one of his nurses) and then nippling like a champ and then back to being a booger. In the past couple of days he nippled 46%, then 96%, then 67%. As you can see, it's been a lot of ups and downs and anticipation running high.

Grandma soaking up some Finnegan snuggles

On the the 4th, the Bruckners came to visit. After an amazing lunch at Granite City Brewery, we came back to the hospital and Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt Meghan, Uncle Danny, and Kaity had snuggle time with Finnegan. He soaked up the loving, that's for sure! That evening, Ian and I drove to a farm in the boondocks of Bloomington to watch the fireworks. The cool part was that because of where we were, we could see both the Normal and Bloomington fireworks. It was kind of funny to watch them at the same time because it's the same show. It was especially entertaining when one got behind. It was a pretty relaxing 4th of July. Ian and I sat in the car with our feet up on the dashboard and the patriotic music on the radio. It was hotter and stickier than I would prefer, but it just felt nice and it brought me back to sitting on my driveway with my parents watching the fireworks and laying beside Ian at the football stadium in Joliet. What good memories. If you can remember, Finnegan's goal was to be home in time for fireworks. He didn't make it this year, so Ian decided that his new goal would be to be home in time for next year's fireworks. God, I hope so!

Finnegan and Kaity

Aunt Meghan and Finn :)

Grandpa Bruckner and Finnegan

Proud Uncle Danny!

The next day, Finnegan took off with his feedings. Since he did so well, he got his feeding tube out and then got to do his car seat test. He passed that test like it was nothing! I mean, he did only have to sit there, but hey! ;) Ian learned all the ins and outs of the car seat. He gets to teach them to me before he comes home. Until he is up to term (40 weeks) he can only be in his car seat for up to 90 minutes. So that means any trips home might take a bit longer so we can stop and get him out for a while. It will probably be nice for the dogs, too. They like to get out and stretch their legs. ;) Staying in the car seat too long can restrict his airways, and we don't want to do that!

Finnegan before the car seat test.

Finnegan 90 minutes later... after the car seat test! PASSED! :)

View from Finn's
new room

Big window in Finn's
new room

After such an amazing day, Finnegan tapered off big time with his feedings on the 6th. He started spitting out his food, pushing the bottle away, and just not eating like the little porker he is. He lost 5 grams and just wasn't being himself. This continued for each feeding and got worse overnight. I broke down after he only took 10ml in the afternoon. I left his room and locked myself in one of the lactation rooms and just let it out. I was so frustrated. It was especially hard because a baby in his neighborhood was discharged and everyone was talking about him going home...It was just hard. Plus, all the nurses were talking about how Finnegan should have already been home. I pulled it together and said as many "Our Fathers" and "Hail Marys" as I could before I felt calm. Then, they told us they were going to be moving Finnegan's room... again. As of this move, Finnegan will have been in 4 of the 8 neighborhoods in the NICU at OSF St. Francis. The nurses said that he's probably the most moved baby here. Reasoning is because the number of babies keeps going up and down, so they have to make sure they have enough babies in a neighborhood. It was frustrating, but he is in a nice room with a big window (actually one of the only rooms in the NICU with a large window!). The sunrises right out that window. It's gorgeous. Around dinner time Uncle Jason, Uncle Pat, and Erin came to visit and give Finnegan some loving. After the Uncles fought over who could hold Finn and who Finn likes more, we went to Granite City for dinner (again... I think Ian really likes that place!).

New cousin Kaylin artwork for Finnegan's new room! :)

Uncle Jason loving on Finnegan :)

Look at Uncle Patrick glow! :)

I stayed the night with Finnegan last night and woke up for each feeding in hopes of trying to get a better picture of what's going on with him. His night nurse sat with me while I fed him and watched him gag, spit out his food, and otherwise look like he was in pain. She explained that it's possible that he has reflux, but since this is the first real time showing symptoms, it's unlikely. When I talked to his practitioner this morning, she said the same thing. Our guess... he didn't like something that I ate. The problem is that I have so much milk stock piled at the hospital from months ago, who knows what it is that is bothering him. We know the date the milk came from, but who knows what I ate on June 1st. So, he took about 15-20ml throughout his feeding overnight and then at 5:30 this morning downed 36ml (within his range!) in 15 minutes and passed out with a big burp. At 8:30 he took 40ml! I definitely noticed a difference in how he was taking his bottles. Overnight he was arching his back, spitting his food out, grunting, and scrunching his face up. This morning, his face was just getting really red (no scrunching), he was bearing forward like he was trying to poop, and he was just whimpering. After his 8:30 feeding, he yanked out his feeding tube. His nurse and nurse practitioner told him that if he wanted to keep it out he had to be a big boy and eat his bottles! At around 10:50 this morning, Finnegan woke up with a big cry which followed with a fart. I assumed he had a gas bubble that just needed to get out, but about 5-10 minutes later, he cried again. I went to his crib to see what was up and his eyes were wide open and his hand was shoved in his mouth... That's Finnegan speak for "FEED ME!" I got his nurse and we got him ready for his 11:30 feeding about a half hour early, but he took another 40ml and then hung out with the doctors and nurses during rounds. He looked at everyone and smiled before giving them a boo-boo face and smacking himself in the face with his flailing arms.

They're going to keep an eye on his eating today, and if he doesn't keep it up, they will consult with a pediatric plastic surgeon about his tongue and look into the possibility of reflux a bit more (although they're pretty sure that's not the problem).

We're just taking everything one feeding at a time. This is one of the most difficult parts of being here. We've been here 75 days. Of those 75 days, I think I haven't been here to see him for 4 or 5 and Ian a little more because of working. It's been a long road. We're so close to taking our baby home. It's that anxiety that makes this so much more difficult, but I take each finished bottle as a victory. After each bottle I give Finnegan a big hug and kiss and we baby high five and I thank God for that one amazing feeding. He's such a big boy now!

Tuesday, July 3rd: The Waiting Game

Our devious little boy! :) (6/23/2012)

Yes, we realize it's been a while. Things have been a bit crazy and yet routine the past couple of weeks. Hopefully the pictures and video will make up for it! :)

Finnegan's Growth Chart (6/26/2012)

Since our last post, Finn has gained just under a pound, turned 2 months old, received his 2 month vaccinations, was circumcised, moved rooms twice, and we had our first baby shower. Additionally, Ian and I continue to prepare to bring him home. We've moved along on the check list for bringing Finn home:

1. Keep his temperature between 97.4 and 99.0 in an open bed for a couple days. <-- He's a champ with that.

2. Nipple (eat from a bottle) all of his feedings (100%) for 2-3 days at his given food range.  <-- We're struggling with this one.

3. Not have any alarms (bradys or apneas) that require someone to touch him to come out of it for 2 hours. <-- So far, so good!

4. Sit in his car seat for 90 minutes without having any alarms (bradys or apneas). <-- Yet to be completed due to his lack of eating like a good boy!

5. Get circumcised (that's not necessary for him to go home... but it'll happen before he does)

6. Gain weight continually. <-- We know he's good at that one!

"Seriously guys... this is a lot of work!" (6/23/2012)

Here's the mommy and daddy to do list...some stuff got added:

1. Find doctor and visit
2. Bathe him on own
3. CPR Training
4. Watch various videos about home care of NICU babies
5. Monitor training (Finn will be going home on a heart and resp monitor)
6. Learn how to give Finn his meds (which will probably just be caffine and multivitamin)
7. Learn proper car seat installation
8. Get his room ready
9. Learn how to mix his fortified milk
10. Arrange follow-up appointments with nurses


I have been so anxious to bring him home, but I have to keep reminding myself that Finnegan should still be in my belly and we wouldn't even have been able to meet him until next month anyway, so the fact that I've had the past 2 months with him is a blessing.

That still doesn't mean that the waiting game in the NICU is at all fun, but being with Finnegan makes it all worth it. We had our first "family time" on the couch last week. We had to watch videos preparing us for taking Finn home, and we were able to take Finnegan off of his monitors and just snuggle with him on the couch while we laughed at the corny videos. It was such an insignificant thing, but it made me so happy.


This past week Finnegan started regressing with his eating. He went from nippling 80-100% of his bottles each day to between 50-70%. As he has gotten bigger, we and his nurses have noticed his tongue is becoming a big issue. This is as far as he is able to stick his tongue out because he is "tongue tied."

This is as far as Finn can stick his tongue out.

This means that the little piece of skin that attaches his tongue to his mouth is restricting movement which may be why he is having problems with breastfeeding and his bottles. His frendulum (the little piece of skin) is actually attached all the way to the tip of his tongue making it look kind of like a butt (pretty visible in the first picture). So, instead of holding on to the nipple with the front of his tongue, he tends to push on the nipple with the back of his tongue which pushes the milk outward as opposed to down his throat. Initially, the doctors were not willing to look into the possibility of a frendulotomy (a procedure where they snip the frendulum). Apparently, they don't do those anymore. After looking into it and becoming more concerned with his disinterest in bottles, Ian and I insisted and after about 5 days of sitting on it, the doctors finally agreed to get a consult from an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) doctor. The ENT said that he would only feel comfortable doing the procedure if he was put under general anesthesia because of his age and size. This would mean that Finn would have to be intibated and put on a ventilator for the first time in his life. Obviously, we would only want to do this if it was absolutely necessary, so we have a new game plan... a lot of it deals with waiting. If Finn's nippling percentage goes down or stays the same by the weekend, the plans will be put in place to have the surgery the beginning of next week. If he starts to improve, they will hold of for another week before making any decisions. We were so frustrated this week because we thought this procedure would be so minor (which it usually is for term babies and toddlers), but we again forgot that Finnegan is a preemie. It's kind of hard to do because he's such a rock star.

Grandma and Grandpa Bruckner (6/24/2012)

On Tuesday of last week (6/24), Finnegan got circumcised. The whole procedure was minor, and his nurse and doctor were surprised by his behavior: he sucked on his pacifier and grunted at them the whole time. Not abnormal behavior for Finnegan, but surprising for a baby getting circumcised! It was around that time that Finnegan's eating started declining. The nurses reassured us that this is very common. Most babies just want to sleep after the procedure and will not want to eat for a couple days afterwards. Well, Finnegan decided he wanted to continue this for a lot longer. This is when our major concerns about his tongue sprang up.

Can we say... "milk drunk"? (6/28/2012)

In other news, Finnegan continues to change every day. His hair has started getting extra fluffy and I'm guessing it might start to show curls soon! His eyes continue to get bluer and his personality is growing faster than he is! He is attempting to pick up his head a lot and is quite the Houdini when it comes to getting out of a swaddle.

Finn decided he didn't want to listen to his nurse... Such attitude!

 

It doesn't look like Finnegan will reach his goal of being home before fireworks, but he at least will hopefully be home before his due date! ;)

Enjoy some other pictures and videos! :)

Ian passed out with Joey after a long day at the Dunes with friends! (6/25/2012)

 Finnegan and Daddy time (6/26/2012):

 Adorable Finnegan sleepy pictures:

Finnegan looking for his thumb! (don't worry, he finds it eventually!) (6/23/2012):

The many sounds and wiggles of Finnegan Michael (7/2/2012):

Thank you for your continued prayers as we play the waiting game. We can use all the support we can get! :)

Wednesday, June 20th: Vision and Hearing

Here's just a quick update on Finn's hearing screen and most recent eye exam.

Today Finnegan had his second eye exam. In the exam, they dilate his pupils and then stick a prong device in his eye to keep it open. Then they shine a light with a magnifier of some sort to see the retina. The doctor is looking for what is called Retinopathy of Prematurity or ROP. When a baby is about 16 weeks gestation, their eyes begin to develop. Then, by 34 weeks gestation, their blood vessels in the eye have matured and developed enough so they supply enough blood to the retina. Well, since preemies are early, they don't necessary get that development and some babies end up with damage to the retina because of lack of needed blood flow; however, some babies don't have this problem because their blood vessels work double time to mature outside of the womb. ROP is defined in stages and Finn is currently at a nonexistant stage or ROP 0. The classifications usually start at 1 being the least severe to 3 being the most severe that can cause blindness, but the eye doctor said he doesn't even show signs of ROP stage 1. His blood vessels are still immature, but there is no damage to the retina. :)

Last night, Finnegan had a hearing screen. For this they put baby headphones on Finnegan and tested the otacoustic emissions (like an echo) of each ear after a sound is played. The screen doesn't give specific results, but it's a test that you can't fail. Either you "pass" or you are "referred" which means that they will refer you to an audiologist for further testing. Finnegan had both ears screened twice to double check results. His right ear first came back with a "refer" result but then came back with a "pass" result, but his left ear came back with a "refer" result both times. This doesn't necessarily mean there are hearing loss issues; it could just mean that his ear hasn't fully matured. I read a lot of blogs from other NICU parents of preemies that said that at their audiologist follow up appointment, weeks after the first screen, both ears passed the same screen tests simply because the baby had grown. Obviously, there could be problems, but we're hoping that it's just another case of Finnegan just needing to grow a bit more. :)

Now that I think back on this week so far, Finnegan has had a busy one! Between his eye and ear screenings, he's had a lot of visitors and a lot of growing! As of yesterday, Finnegan now weighs 4lbs 2.5oz. :) On Tuesday he had visits from Grandma Bruckner, Aunt Meghan, Uncle Danny, and Alyson. Aunt Meghan and Uncle Danny got to hold their first nephew for the first time! :)

Today, Finnegan's Grandma Doman came to visit and help mommy with clean up the room that will be his nursery and of course play with Finn! Then, Grandma and Grandpa Bruckner came to visit. We figured that Grandpa Bruckner hadn't seen his grandson in a month between work, "sickness," and house work. I think he was more than a little shocked at how much he had grown! :)

Monday, June 18th: Father's Day and other things!

Sleepy little boy (6/18/2012)

Since our last post, Finnegan has been doing beautifully! As of yesterday, he is 33 weeks old in gestation, or very close to 8 weeks old. He has been doing absolutely wonderful with feedings and has gone up to nippling/using the bottle for 67% of his feedings. Yesterday, Finnegan was moved to getting fed a bottle whenever he seems like he wants to for each feeding. Prior to that, he was taking a bottle for every other feeding. For most feedings he finishes the whole bottle, but since he's been working for his food more, he gets tired more easily. With eating a lot comes gaining weight. As of this afternoon, Finn has topped the scale at 4lbs 1oz AND he's now 16.5 inches long! :) Our little man is growing so quickly! Today they also took him off of his sodium and potassium supplements. He is currently only on Vitamin D and caffine besides his breastmilk.

"Hmmm... I wonder when Brittany is
going to put my food on the pump..."

Rounds have been pretty lame recently since Finnegan is just being fed and growing. They pretty much sit down in the room, spew off some numbers, tell him to keep up the good work, and leave. It's quick and dirty! They have increased his food recently. He was at 25mL. They increased his food to 28mL on the 15th to adjust for his weight gain and then up to 32mL yesterday. He's not getting a little over an ounce during each feeding! On Wednesday of last week, Finnegan began attempting to breastfeed once a day. He's still trying to get used to it, but we're making progress!

No more chicken legs! Check out Finnegan's leg in comparison with Ian's finger!

A video of Finnegan getting anxious to eat.  Don't mind us laughing in the background...His facial expressions are priceless.

Wednesday night, I went to see Motherhood the Musical with my mother-in-law, Aunt Cathy, and two of mom's friends. I was excited to eat Portillo's and get out for a while. The musical was really good. I was able to laugh hysterically at parts, get a little sad at others, and truly appreciate what it means to be a mom through song! ;) Thanks for the great evening, mom! :)

On Thursday, Finnegan got his first big boy bath. It was weird seeing such a little baby in a tub that should fit a "normal sized" baby. He was kind of unsure of the whole thing, but he took it like a champ. Yeah, he screamed a bit when it came time to rinse him off, but he smelled SO much better afterwards! These are pictures of Finnegan right after his bathtime!

On Friday, Finn got visited by Great Grandma, Great Aunt Jan, and cousins Katie and Timmy. Great Grandma was SO excited to be able to hold Finnegan. It was so wonderful to see the two of them together. We had a great visit. Timmy got to meet Finnegan for the first time and he was such a good little boy for all his visitors!

Finn and Great Grandma!

Finn and Cousin Katie

Finn and Great Aunt Jan!

On Friday night, Finnegan's nurses decided he didn't need his pulse ox monitor anymore since he rarely ever dropped his oxygen saturation. I was excited because that was one less wire holding me back from snuggling with the little guy! Now, Finnegan just has his heart and respiration monitors! Those consist of 3 stickies that plug into one bigger wire that connects to his monitor. It makes it so much easier to get him in and out of his crib!

No more pulse-ox! :)

Saturday was party day for the Bruckners. We went up north to celebrate the wonderful accomplishments of Danny and Meghan! Woohoo for graduating and moving onto bigger and better things! :) It was really awesome spending some much needed time with family. I missed Finn a LOT, but it's easier to be away from him when he's doing so stinkin' well. There was a pretty intense lightning show on our drive back to Bloomington Saturday night.

Sunday was ... of course ... Father's Day! Unfortunately, our plans got moved around because of some suspected illnesses of grandma and grandpa Bruckner, but Ian and I enjoyed a very nice Sunday complete with Red Lobster and Finnegan time.
Today I started my couch to 5k workout regimen. Needless to say, my body got a little sore, but I feel good and am hoping that if I get myself used to it now, it'll be easier to keep up with once Finnegan gets home...which may be sooner than we think. Finnegan's new goal is to be home in time to see fireworks on the 4th of July; however, with the way he's going, it might be sooner. wow!

Finnegan's goals (6/15/2012)

I'm still uneasy about what life is going to be like when Finn comes home. I've become so accustomed to going back and forth to see him, that I'm nervous about taking care of him on my own. Although, today I got to give him a bath all on my own, and that was a lot more reassuring! I guess it's just scary because our house isn't ready for Finnegan to come home to! Guess I have a lot of work to do this week! :)

Finn during bathtime (6/18/2012)

An older video that I didn't get a chance to post before. Video from May 31st during Kangaroo Time.

A lot of people have been asking us when Finnegan will be coming home. There is a list of things that Finnegan has to accomplish before he is allowed to go home. Here is the list:

1. Keep his temperature between 97.4 and 99.0 in an open bed for a couple days.

2. Nipple (eat from a bottle) all of his feedings (100%) for 2-3 days at his given food range.

3. Not have any alarms (bradys or apneas) that require someone to touch him to come out of it for 2 hours.

4. Sit in his car seat for 90 minutes without having any alarms (bradys or apneas).

5. Get circumcised (that's not necessary for him to go home... but it'll happen before he does)

As you can see, he has quite a few things he needs to accomplish! Not to mention, mommy and daddy have a lot to learn before we can take him home. Our list of things to do are a lot longer than Finn's, but he's pretty much wiped out by all the feedings! :) Here's the mommy and daddy to do list:

1. Find doctor and visit

2. Bathe him on own

3. CPR Training

4. Watch various videos about home care of NICU babies

5. Monitor training (Finn will be going home on a heart and resp monitor)

6. Learn how to give Finn his meds (which will probably just be caffine)

7. Learn proper car seat installation

8. Get his room ready!!!

Finnegan gets measured every Sunday night... Here he is from this Sunday (6/17/2012). He's now 16.5 inches long! :)