Saturday, July 7th: The Roller Coaster

He takes eating very seriously.... sometimes ;)

The last couple of days have been a bit of a roller coaster. He went from "nippling like a turd" (quoted by one of his nurses) and then nippling like a champ and then back to being a booger. In the past couple of days he nippled 46%, then 96%, then 67%. As you can see, it's been a lot of ups and downs and anticipation running high.

Grandma soaking up some Finnegan snuggles

On the the 4th, the Bruckners came to visit. After an amazing lunch at Granite City Brewery, we came back to the hospital and Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt Meghan, Uncle Danny, and Kaity had snuggle time with Finnegan. He soaked up the loving, that's for sure! That evening, Ian and I drove to a farm in the boondocks of Bloomington to watch the fireworks. The cool part was that because of where we were, we could see both the Normal and Bloomington fireworks. It was kind of funny to watch them at the same time because it's the same show. It was especially entertaining when one got behind. It was a pretty relaxing 4th of July. Ian and I sat in the car with our feet up on the dashboard and the patriotic music on the radio. It was hotter and stickier than I would prefer, but it just felt nice and it brought me back to sitting on my driveway with my parents watching the fireworks and laying beside Ian at the football stadium in Joliet. What good memories. If you can remember, Finnegan's goal was to be home in time for fireworks. He didn't make it this year, so Ian decided that his new goal would be to be home in time for next year's fireworks. God, I hope so!

Finnegan and Kaity

Aunt Meghan and Finn :)

Grandpa Bruckner and Finnegan

Proud Uncle Danny!

The next day, Finnegan took off with his feedings. Since he did so well, he got his feeding tube out and then got to do his car seat test. He passed that test like it was nothing! I mean, he did only have to sit there, but hey! ;) Ian learned all the ins and outs of the car seat. He gets to teach them to me before he comes home. Until he is up to term (40 weeks) he can only be in his car seat for up to 90 minutes. So that means any trips home might take a bit longer so we can stop and get him out for a while. It will probably be nice for the dogs, too. They like to get out and stretch their legs. ;) Staying in the car seat too long can restrict his airways, and we don't want to do that!

Finnegan before the car seat test.

Finnegan 90 minutes later... after the car seat test! PASSED! :)

View from Finn's
new room

Big window in Finn's
new room

After such an amazing day, Finnegan tapered off big time with his feedings on the 6th. He started spitting out his food, pushing the bottle away, and just not eating like the little porker he is. He lost 5 grams and just wasn't being himself. This continued for each feeding and got worse overnight. I broke down after he only took 10ml in the afternoon. I left his room and locked myself in one of the lactation rooms and just let it out. I was so frustrated. It was especially hard because a baby in his neighborhood was discharged and everyone was talking about him going home...It was just hard. Plus, all the nurses were talking about how Finnegan should have already been home. I pulled it together and said as many "Our Fathers" and "Hail Marys" as I could before I felt calm. Then, they told us they were going to be moving Finnegan's room... again. As of this move, Finnegan will have been in 4 of the 8 neighborhoods in the NICU at OSF St. Francis. The nurses said that he's probably the most moved baby here. Reasoning is because the number of babies keeps going up and down, so they have to make sure they have enough babies in a neighborhood. It was frustrating, but he is in a nice room with a big window (actually one of the only rooms in the NICU with a large window!). The sunrises right out that window. It's gorgeous. Around dinner time Uncle Jason, Uncle Pat, and Erin came to visit and give Finnegan some loving. After the Uncles fought over who could hold Finn and who Finn likes more, we went to Granite City for dinner (again... I think Ian really likes that place!).

New cousin Kaylin artwork for Finnegan's new room! :)

Uncle Jason loving on Finnegan :)

Look at Uncle Patrick glow! :)

I stayed the night with Finnegan last night and woke up for each feeding in hopes of trying to get a better picture of what's going on with him. His night nurse sat with me while I fed him and watched him gag, spit out his food, and otherwise look like he was in pain. She explained that it's possible that he has reflux, but since this is the first real time showing symptoms, it's unlikely. When I talked to his practitioner this morning, she said the same thing. Our guess... he didn't like something that I ate. The problem is that I have so much milk stock piled at the hospital from months ago, who knows what it is that is bothering him. We know the date the milk came from, but who knows what I ate on June 1st. So, he took about 15-20ml throughout his feeding overnight and then at 5:30 this morning downed 36ml (within his range!) in 15 minutes and passed out with a big burp. At 8:30 he took 40ml! I definitely noticed a difference in how he was taking his bottles. Overnight he was arching his back, spitting his food out, grunting, and scrunching his face up. This morning, his face was just getting really red (no scrunching), he was bearing forward like he was trying to poop, and he was just whimpering. After his 8:30 feeding, he yanked out his feeding tube. His nurse and nurse practitioner told him that if he wanted to keep it out he had to be a big boy and eat his bottles! At around 10:50 this morning, Finnegan woke up with a big cry which followed with a fart. I assumed he had a gas bubble that just needed to get out, but about 5-10 minutes later, he cried again. I went to his crib to see what was up and his eyes were wide open and his hand was shoved in his mouth... That's Finnegan speak for "FEED ME!" I got his nurse and we got him ready for his 11:30 feeding about a half hour early, but he took another 40ml and then hung out with the doctors and nurses during rounds. He looked at everyone and smiled before giving them a boo-boo face and smacking himself in the face with his flailing arms.

They're going to keep an eye on his eating today, and if he doesn't keep it up, they will consult with a pediatric plastic surgeon about his tongue and look into the possibility of reflux a bit more (although they're pretty sure that's not the problem).

We're just taking everything one feeding at a time. This is one of the most difficult parts of being here. We've been here 75 days. Of those 75 days, I think I haven't been here to see him for 4 or 5 and Ian a little more because of working. It's been a long road. We're so close to taking our baby home. It's that anxiety that makes this so much more difficult, but I take each finished bottle as a victory. After each bottle I give Finnegan a big hug and kiss and we baby high five and I thank God for that one amazing feeding. He's such a big boy now!