Mother's Day Weekend

One of Finnegan's favorite positions: feet up in the air/folded on top of his diaper!

Christine:
I'm kind of at a loss for what to say regarding my first Mother's Day. It's hard because Finnegan should still technically be in my belly, but instead he is here shocking us more and more every day. I have to say I am a bit grateful that he's not inside of me because man, that boy is a squirmer! Let's see... I have 3 days to cover, so here goes nothing!

Friday was my errand day. I ran around the majority of the day before heading to the hospital in the evening. One of my errands included a stop at Mrs. Fields to order and pick up a cookie cake for the NICU nurses for Nurses Week. I included a little card so the nurses would know who it was from once the cookie was cut. It was so hard not to eat this on my way to Peoria. The smell from the passenger seat was so tempting. Ian stayed at home to continue recovering and work on finishing up his two classes from this semester. I have to say, I'm really proud him for pushing through and finishing up the work when he could have taken incompletes. I'm not sure I would have been able to do what he's doing. I really admire his strength.

 I missed rounds on Friday because everything took longer than I expected it to. Regardless, there was little to discuss. They lowered his rate on his cpap again by five (so he is now on 5 breaths per minute) and he continues to gain weight. They upped his food to 17 ml and also started giving him some sodium every six hours. He also is doing really well with his feedings. Everyone is just blown away that he hasn't had to go back to priming, since most preemies really struggle with tolerating food. During feedings, they started giving him a pacifier to practice sucking. He's been doing SO well with that. That is until he falls asleep or goes into his "food coma"/"milk drunk" and it falls out.

Friday night, I got the chance to Kangaroo with my little dude again. We read new books and snuggled. He wasn't as alert this time, but he was sure cozy and snuggly! What's even better, he didn't brady at all! It's always an easy time falling asleep after having him in my arms.

Seriously, mom! No picutres! ;)

Saturday morning, I ate breakfast, took care of Finnegan's morning diaper and temperature check and got ready to go back to Bloomington. Before I left, Finn's NNP came in to do a morning assessment before rounds. She decided to take his rate on his cpap down to zero, meaning he would have no assisted breaths. She said that because his bradys have not increased by decreasing his rate, they wanted to see what he would do without any extra help. I guess we'll see! He continues to be on the extra sodium. The NNP said that if his rates continue to stay low, they will probably supplement his feedings with formula. He will continue to be on 17ml of breastmilk, but they are toying with the idea of putting his food on a pump. Usually, he is fed from a tube which is hung from the top of his bed. This allows gravity to just pull the food down his feeding tube to his belly. Well, the feeding tube he had in was too small and was not letting the food down fast enough, so when the nurses would help it down, he would brady because it would be too much pressure on his little belly. So, they changed his feeding tube to a bigger one. Unfortunately, that meant the milk was coming down too quickly and he bradyed again. To solve this problem, by the end of the day, his milk was being administered on a pump which meant that it gives him a steady and continuous amount of milk over a set time period, reducing that quick flow that caused him to brady. It seems to be working better for him. These are just some quick shots I took of Finnegan before I left Saturday morning.

After I left Finn, I went to get pedicures with my friend Jessica. It's always great catching up with her and simultaneously getting my feet all prettied up. :) Afterwards, I came home, at lunch, and passed out for a couple of hours. Man, did I need the rest. I didn't sleep that well the evening before at the hospital, so I needed that extra couple of hours for sure. When I got up, I started wrapping up Mother's Day gifts. Then, before I knew it, it was time to meet my Uncle John, Aunt Jan, and cousin Katie for dinner at Busy Corner Family Restaurant in Goodfield before heading down to Peoria to see Finnegan. We had a really amazing dinner which ended with some really amazing pie. Once we got to the hospital, I sat back and watched my Aunt and Uncle ooh and aww over the little guy. I can't wait until Finn is big enough for Uncle John to pinch his little cheeks! I remember always being chased around by Uncle John as a kid, and I can't wait for Finnegan to experience the same thing. My cousin Katie ripped off all her fake nails on one hand just so she wouldn't have to touch Finnegan with a glove. That's love right there! Finn was feisty as usual, trying to squirm, kick, and punch hands away, while also holding our fingers with his hands and feet! Overall, it was an amazing visit, and it was hard to say good night to Finn and go back home.

(Sunday: Mother's Day) Even though it was hard leaving Finn, I slept like a rock last night in my own bed. I don't think I'd slept that many consequtive hours since before I was in the hospital about 3 weeks ago. Gosh... time flies! Needless to say, it was not a positive wake up call with regards to pumping, but it was all worth it in the end...except that I fell back asleep and we missed church. Whoops. I spent most of the afternoon attempting to pull myself together. I didn't think the whole concept of Mother's Day would affect me so much, and I didn't think that it would take this long for everything to hit me. But, today it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that we're in charge of this little life that we have created, but  also need to take care of myself and my husband. The only thing just scared the crap out of me. I think I was past due for a breakdown, and I just cried. Afterwards, I felt calm and somewhat collected. I helped Ian clean up the house a little and we ate lunch together while watching "Burn Notice."

Soon afterwards, I recouped in the shower and got ready for the in-laws to come over for dinner before heading down (or... I guess it's actually across) to see Finnegan. My mother-in-law and I exchanged Mother's Day gifts and then they gave us a gift for Finn. It was a whole huge bag of adorable clothes. They were all SO adorable and we are SO grateful for all of it! Ian made homemade pizza of several different varieties. They were very yummy and my tummy was happy! After doing a bit of clean up in the kitchen, we headed out to Peoria to see the little squirt.

Finnegan was in his usual feisty mood, fighting the respiratory therapist and the nurse while trying to pull out his feeding tube. My in-laws quickly noticed his cry had gotten louder since that last time they saw him. He's quite the screamer! Since we had missed rounds today as well, we learned that they upped his rate back to 5 on the cpap just to see if his bradys would go back down since he had quite a few over night. Since then, all of his bradys today have been self-correcting. Even as I sit typing this in Finn's room, he has had 4 bradys in the past hour or so, and all of them have been quick and self-correcting. One of them in particular he fixed himself, but the nurse realized he had a lot of gunk in his throat, so they suctioned him out.

Overall, it was quite the Mother's Day weekend. It's time for me to end it on the best note possible: Kangarooing with our little miracle. :)